Today's poems [3.15.11]
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To his bride a young bridegroom said, "Pish!
Your cunt is as big as a dish!"
She replied, "Why, you fool,
With your limp little tool
It's like driving a nail with a fish!"
A cautious young husband named Rafe
Used to diddle his wife with a safe.
Thus he thwarted God's wishes
And fed his pet fishes,
Which he kept in a bedside carafe.
A depraved old Jew from Estretto
Buggered every young man in the ghetto.
He once had his hose in
A musician, composing,
Who said: "Not so slow---allegretto!"
(Yeah, I know it's nasty...)
There was an old maid in Van Nuys
Who went crazy from making mud pies.
She would fill them with farts
And pickled beef-hearts,
And bake them between her fierce thighs.
On his honeymoon sailing the ocean
A tightwad displayed much emotion
When he learned, one fine day,
He'd been fucking away
What could have been bottled as lotion.
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