Today's jokes [3.7.11]
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Q: What's the best way to kill a man?
A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him.
Then tell him to pick only one
Did you hear about the 10 year old boy who asked his recently
divorced mother her age? She told him that was not a question
to ask and that he shouldn't ask it again.
He then asked her her weight. She, once again, told him that she
wouldn't answer the question and that he shouldn't ask it again.
The next question he asked was why she and Daddy got divorced.
Once again, she told him that it was not a question he should ask
and to not ask that question again. He went away.
A few minutes later, she found him digging in her purse. She asked
what he was doing and as he turn toward his mother, he beamingly told
her he had found all the answers to his questions by looking at her
He said, "Mother, you're 34 years old, weigh 125 pounds and Daddy
divorced you because you got an 'F' in sex."
A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a
couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk.
"What are they doing, Grandma?" asked the little girl.
The grandmother was embarrased, so she said, "The dog on top has hurt
his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor."
They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?" said the little one.
"How do you mean?" asked the Grandma.
"Offer someone a helping hand," said the little girl, "and they fuck
Rabbit's Ph.D. Thesis:
A Parable for Graduate Students
Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside
his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter.
Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."
Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the
rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.
Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit
returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Scene: Inside the rabbit's burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox
bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the
room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.
It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.
It doesn't matter what you use for data.
What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.
What is the Definition of Agony?
Pamela Anderson says to you "I'll fuck you for a week non stop
for one dollar and you have only got 95 cents!
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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