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Today's jokes [3.6.11]

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Q. What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? 

A. Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape. 

1. 




   A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in
   the mirror. He asks, "What are you doing?"
   
   She replies, "I went to the doctor today, and he told me I have the
   breasts of a 25 year old."
   
   The husband retorts, "Well, what did he say about your 50 year old
   ass?"
   
   She replies, "Frankly dear, your name never came up."
   


2. 




A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their 
hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says,
"Can I help? Have you lost something?"
"No," says one of the doctors. "We're about to do a heart transplant on
an accountant and we're looking for a suitable stone."  


3. 




Language Trends of the Future



There are consistent trends in the past evolution of languages, and in
all likelihood they will continue to change in the same fashion in the
future.

In 200 years, spoken French will have only one sound, a vowel.  All
consonants and gaps between words and sentences will disappear, leaving
only an extended "Eauuuuuuuuuuuu..."  Meaning will be inferred from
facial expression.  Written French will stay exactly the same.

These consonants will not be entirely forgotten; they will migrate
to Czechoslovakia, which will by that time have no use for vowels.

In 200 years, the English vocabulary will be the union of all other
vocabularies, but the spelling will be original.

Similarly, the Japanese alphabet will be the union of all other
alphabets in the world.

The Cyrillic alphabet will eventually be the same as the Latin
alphabet, only backwards.  A mirror will suffice for translating
Russian into Polish.

Finally, in 200 years, entire books in Germany will be one word.  Plus
a verb at the end, of course.

[From Henry_Cate_III.OSBU_North@xerox.com]



4. 




Which of the following doesn't belong?

(a) meat
(b) eggs
(c) wife
(d) blow job

(D) A blowjob because its possible to beat your meat,
your eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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