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Today's jokes [3.30.11]

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A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an 
apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she 
looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously.  So 
the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man. 

She asks: "You come every day to the wall. How long have you 
done that and what are you praying for?"

The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 
years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the 
brotherhood of man. I go home have a cup of tea and I come 
back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from 
the earth."

The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come 
here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she 
asks.

The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."

1. 




I got home from work last night and said to my wife, "You are a one"
She said "What do you mean, I am a one?"
I said, "If Bo Derek's a ten, you're a one". 

2. 




The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.
"Why so glum, Chum?" asked the kindly stranger.
"If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?"



3. 




Why do Scottsmen wear kilts?



The sound of the zipper scares the sheep.

Sent by Lou

4. 




Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was 
becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing 
doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?" 
"Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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