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Today's jokes [3.24.11]

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Q: How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat? 

A: If you sit down before the other guy gets off.

1. 




Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of 
balancing his new checking account.  "The bank returned the 
check you wrote to the sporting goods store," she said.

"Oh good," he said, "Now I can use it to buy some stereo
equipment!"

2. 




What's the difference between a homeless and a pizza? 

    A pizza can feed a family of four. 

3. 




This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local 
brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. 
the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, "cough drops" and snickered.

Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, "What are you doing 
here, m'am?"

The woman pulled herself up to her full height oF 4'4 and replied, "Well, 
I can suck em can't I?" 

4. 




A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a
fairly regular basis. 

After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you," she said
politely." 

"This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping
myself pure until I meet the man I love." 

"That must be rather difficult," the man replied. 

"Oh, I don't mind too much," she said. "But, it has my husband
pretty upset."



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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