Today's jokes [3.21.11]
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"You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot in
common," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earth
did you get married?"
"I suppose it was the old business of 'opposites attract',"
was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was."
Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to
Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there.
This practical joke is hearsay. A fellow student some years ago
related the following. Apparently another student was a bit of
a braggar. His favourite topic was his car, and one sub-topic
was the terrific gas milage (pre-metric) it got.
So it began one evening. Fill up a one-gallon container of gas
each night and pour it into the victim's gas tank. Wait for the
story each day to get better and better. Repeat until it cannot
be taken any more. I believe 2 weeks was sufficient.
Finally the moment (days) of truth. Each night for 2 weeks,
the effect was reversed, and one gallon of gas was REMOVED from
the victim's tank. It was amazingly effective at reducing some
of the stories. I suspect the truth was never revealed to the
Q: When does a person decide to become an accountant?
A: When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an
Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.
Homer: Why you little -- !
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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