Today's jokes [3.19.11]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.
When is premature ejaculation a serious problem?
When it occurs between "hello" and "what's your sign?"
I was once in a nice family-style restaurant when I observed
some kids supergluing the dishes to the table. They also attached
the silverware, napkins, salt, pepper, etc. If it wasn't already nailed down,
it was now. They stayed long enough to let the glue set, and then paid and
left. They watched as the poor busboy tried to get the stuff off of the table.
Also funny is supergluing a quarter to the sidewalk. I know its old,
but in the city, with the diverse types of people around, it gets really
amusing. I watched this old lady whack at it with her cane for about 10 min.
GOD will save me
The police were going door to door warning everyone to evacuate
because the river was rising. One door they came to, the man said "GOD
will save me".
The river continued to rise and he was forced to move everthing to the
second floor of his house. A man in a boat came by and offered to save
him. Again he said "GOD will save me".
Pretty soon the second story was flooded and he was forced to get on
the roof of his house. A helicopter came by and tried to save him and
yet again he said "GOD will save me".
It wasn't long before the house was completely covered and the man
died and went to heaven. He confronted God with "Why didn't you save
And God said " I sent you the police, a boat and a helicopter. Why did
you stay in the house?"
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat?
When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's StoriesToday's PoemsToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13
14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27
28 29 30 31