Today's jokes [3.17.11]
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I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar
looking for me and I asked for her number.
Name:______________________________ SOCIAL SECURITY
STAFF ELEMENT:_____________________ HOME PHONE
MALE:___________ FEMALE:___________ OFFICE PHONE
SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Male - Female
Female - Female
Male - Male
All of the Above
None of the Above - Please Specify:
I CONSENT TO THE FOLLOWING FORMS OF SEXUAL HARRASSMENT:
Salutatory Greeting: _____________________
Eye-to-Eye Contact: ______________________
Eye-to-Bust Contatct: ____________________
Eye-to-Below Waist Contact: ______________
Heavy breathing on neck: _________________
Hands on body: ___________________________
Gluteus Maximus: ________________
Penetration (however slight): ____________
All of the Above: ________________________
MISCELLANEOUS: I WILL I WILL NOT
1. Assist in procurement of various potions, lotions, products,
etc. to be used during sexual harassment.
2. Assist in procurement and maintenance of various types of substaining
3. Clean up.
I CERTIFY THAT I WILL ACCEPT SEXUAL HARASSMENT FROM:
Anyone But: ______________________________
SIGNATURE: _______________________________________ DATE:
This form is to be reviewed by immediate supervisor annually, prior to
performance rating and evaluation.
A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel,
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour,the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting
in an open foyer."
This girl I know told me she was so horny her own tongue's starting to feel good in her mouth.
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same
sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both
manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to
bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly
pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better
idea... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not?" giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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