Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [3.12.11]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so 
after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the 
minor of three possible operations. 

The operation is performed, but a month later, she's still not 
pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he 
recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious 
operation, but still not as complicated as the third alternative. 

But, there's still no result, and another month later she's back 
in the doctors office, and this time she gets the big one. 

After having recovered in some weeks, the couple resumes 
normal marital activities, and this time they actually succeed in 
conceiving a baby.

Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the doctor for the regular 
examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so 
happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this 
third operation actually all about? The first two weren't that bad, 
but this last one I think must have been quite a job, I was dizzy 
for weeks after."

"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard 
operations failed, we started suspecting your method rather 
than your ability, so I made a connection from your throat to 
your uterus."

1. 




A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She
looks surprised and says, I don't have a headache!"
    
He says, "Aha!"

2. 




A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmart
and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it.
When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist.
The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks 
quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?"
The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do."
The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"
The pharmacist thinks for a moment and then says, "Perhaps, if you took 
five or six pills at once you might." 

3. 




There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish
who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,
"If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" 

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone
who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the
priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest
arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in
town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about
having fallen." 

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new
priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at
the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your
wife fell three times this week."

4. 




A secretary, who works in an office with my daughter's friend, 
Commented at lunch that it was such a shame that the spice 
girls couldn't stay together considering they are sisters and all. 
There was silence for a bit, then someone told her that they 
weren't sisters. She said, " Of course they are, they have the 
same last name." She Has unofficially been named "Dumb 
Spice"



5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 March '11 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
      1  2  3  4  5  
6  7  8  9  10 11 12 
13 14 15 16 17 18 19 
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 
27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.