Today's jokes [3.12.11]
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A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so
after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the
minor of three possible operations.
The operation is performed, but a month later, she's still not
pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he
recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious
operation, but still not as complicated as the third alternative.
But, there's still no result, and another month later she's back
in the doctors office, and this time she gets the big one.
After having recovered in some weeks, the couple resumes
normal marital activities, and this time they actually succeed in
conceiving a baby.
Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the doctor for the regular
examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so
happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this
third operation actually all about? The first two weren't that bad,
but this last one I think must have been quite a job, I was dizzy
for weeks after."
"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard
operations failed, we started suspecting your method rather
than your ability, so I made a connection from your throat to
A man brings his wife a glass of water and two aspirins. She
looks surprised and says, I don't have a headache!"
He says, "Aha!"
A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmart
and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it.
When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist.
The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks
quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?"
The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do."
The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"
The pharmacist thinks for a moment and then says, "Perhaps, if you took
five or six pills at once you might."
There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish
who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said,
"If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone
who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the
priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest
arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in
town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new
priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at
the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your
wife fell three times this week."
A secretary, who works in an office with my daughter's friend,
Commented at lunch that it was such a shame that the spice
girls couldn't stay together considering they are sisters and all.
There was silence for a bit, then someone told her that they
weren't sisters. She said, " Of course they are, they have the
same last name." She Has unofficially been named "Dumb
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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