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Today's jokes [3.11.11]

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Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best... find a 
woman with whom he may "commiserate". After a wild night of getting it on, 
it's time for the young lady to leave. As she's getting dressed, she and 
Mike are having a conversation. 

She says, "Lotsa guys want to know how it was. Well, I have good news and 
bad news for you. Which would you like first?" 

Mike thinks for a moment and says, "What the hell, give me the good news." 

She tells him, "The good news is that you're bigger than Magic Johnson."

1. 




What is old, wrinkled, and hangs out your underwear? 

Your Mother...

2. 




Q:What's another term for lesbian?
A:Vagitarian.


3. 




A doctor fell into a well once.
He learned to tend to the sick and leave the well alone. 

4. 




Mr. Horntoot admitted to his wife that he was feeling much
better since his operation, but couldn't account for the
enormous bump on the back of his head.
"Oh, that," chuckled Mrs. Horntoot. "Just before your
operation they suddenly ran out of ether!" 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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