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Today's jokes [3.10.11]

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The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort
   in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy
   their two week vacation/honeymoon.
   
   The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said, "Well, hi
   Jimmy, how ya been lover ? Long time no see."
   
   A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once
   inside, the piqued bride demanded: "And just who was THAT woman ?!?!?"
   
   The groom wiped his brow and said, "Just relax honey. Please ! I'm
   going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her."


1. 




If men had PMS/PMT, what would happen?
a. The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b. Cramps would become an acceptable reason to
    apply for permanent disability.
c. There would be a federal holiday every 28 days

2. 




A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when
confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and
kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is
really hell, and what was so bad about the place.

"Well," said the demon, "the kegs all have holes in
the bottoms, and the blondes don't!" 

3. 




Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? 

     - So people can read her lips. 

4. 




Santa comes once a year - but when he does he fills your stocking!


5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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