Today's jokes [3.1.11]
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What has two legs and bleeds?
Half a dog.
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A. After five years your job will still suck.
Q. How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
Q: Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
Q: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs?
A: One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year!
Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts?
A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he
noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her
boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the
flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after
everyone else left the church.
When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice.
"Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?"
"Why reverend." the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends tell me that
they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."
"Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head
between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I
don't hear any angels singing!"
"Of course not reverend." she said. Your not plugged in yet."
If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on,
does a hard sleeper sleep harder with a hard on?
What do you do when you're finished fucking a ten year old girl?
A: Turn her over and pretend she's a ten year old boy!
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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