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Today's stories [2.24.11]

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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old
next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come
over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. 
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?  He
replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T
error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?

'No,' I replied.  'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it
out.'          
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T   

I used to like Eric, the little bastard.

1. 




An Obituary printed in the London Times........ Interesting and sadly
rather true.


'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be
remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to
come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
  
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).
  
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

Common Sense declined even further when schools were required to get
parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have
an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as some churches became businesses; and
criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a
beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home
and the burglar could sue you for assault.
  
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust his
wife, Discretion his daughter, Responsibility his son, Reason He is
survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone
Else Is To Blame, I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

2. 




This story happened a while ago in Israel , and even though it sounds like
an Alfred Hitchcock tale, its true.

Josh Greenberg, a Jerusalem University student, was on the side of the road
hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm.
The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he
could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly
coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and
without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, only to
realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!

The car started moving slowly. Josh looked at the road ahead and saw a
curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.
Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window
and turned the wheel. Josh, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand
repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.
Shortly thereafter Josh saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so,
gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it.

Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about
the horrible experience he had just had.
A silence enveloped the pub when verybody realized he was crying
and....wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the stormy
night. They, like Josh, were also soaked and out of breath.
Looking around, and seeing Josh Greenberg sobbing at the bar, one said to
the other...

"Look Moishe .... there's that idiot that got in the car while we were
pushing it!!!!"

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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