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Today's stories [2.22.11]

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I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher
commented that the next day would be the shortest day
of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited,
cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the
amount of daylight changes,not the actual amount of
time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.

1. 




As an art teacher for an elementary school here in Jacksonville, Florida, 
one of my recent assignments for the children was to enter a contest that 
our new national football team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, was promoting.

The winning artwork gets placed on the back of the season tickets, so I 
encouraged the children to come up with a good logo and a colorful 
creation.

One innocent little girl was so enthused about her masterpiece she turned 
in to me. It had a picture of a mean looking jaguar that read, "You're 
messin' with the wrong pussy."

2. 




A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to 
supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem 
reasonable, people place orders and make payments via check.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the 
present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be 
prosecuted. So they return their customers' money in the form of a company 
check.

However, due to the name of the company, few people ever bother to present 
these to their banks. The name of the company: 'The Anal Sex and Fetish 
Perversion Company.'

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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