Today's stories [2.14.11]
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The world's first fully computerised airliner was ready for its maiden
flight with out pilots or crew. The plane taxied to the loading area
automatically, its doors opened automatically, the steps came out
automatically. The passengers boarded the plane and took their seats.
The steps retreated automatically, the doors closed, and the airplane
taxied toward the runway.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman," a voice intoned as the airplane
lifted off. "Welcome to the debut of the world's first fully computerised
airliner. Everything on this aircraft is run electronically. Just sit back
and relax. Nothing can go wrong........nothing can go wrong......nothing
can go wrong......"
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse.
The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their
contract's sick-leave provisions.
One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held
aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he
announced, "Called in Sick yesterday!"
There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who
had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.
The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he
said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been
Long ago in Israel the wisest man, a great philopher and thinker, was
holding audience. Everyone was there - the hall was packed out -
politicians at the front, professionals, doctors, lawyers next, then
businessmen, etc., with lesser beings further and further away.
He intones his most famous and deepest saying: "Life is like a fish".
Everyone murmers in obedient and respectful agreement "How wise", "What a
thinker", "How true", "What a man".
At the very back of hall, a callow, spotty youth - a freshman probably,
sticks his hand up and asks "Why?". Absolute horror around the hall...
They stare round enraged at him "How can he question the great man?", "Has
he no sense at all?". They stare back anxiously at the great man - what
will he do? He doesn't react, just sits there, pondering. The atmosphere
is electric. After ten minutes of deep thought, the great man looks up,
the audience expectant with bated breathe. He speaks. "Alright, so it's
not like a fish".
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