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Today's stories [2.12.11]

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For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer,
this one is for you. An award should go to the United Airlines
gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her
point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to
fly as baggage.
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking
a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger
pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the
counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be
FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help
you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be
able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public
address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she
began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a
passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone
can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man
glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F*** you!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir,
but you'll have to stand in line for that, too!"

1. 




My father is an ex-Marine who served in the Vietnam War. He tells me many 
stories about pranks and stuff he pulled, and here is one that stood out.
He was on patrol, in the pitch black night, with orders NOT TO FIRE unless 
an enemy was spotted. In the pitch black night. Well he wasn't about to 
wait until the VK was in his face with a combat knife before he started 
shooting, so he looked around for a reason to open fire. And they found 
one.
In the distance, they heard a Vietnamise bird, nicknamed the 'fuck you' 
bird because of its 'unique cry.'
They got on the radio.
"This is 'Bubbles' (his nickname, another story), we have spotted a gook, 
sir, request permission to open fire."
"Roger, open fire."
They then began shooting wherever the bird was heard. Of course, they 
couldn't just stop there...
"This is bubbles, Requesting airstrike..."
Yup. He called in Willie Peter, Napalm, Airstrikes, 'Puff the Magic 
Dragon' (a large plane with a lot of machine guns that could level an area 
the size of a football field in a matter of seconds.) as well as laying 
thier own steel.
In the morning, the bird was still there. But 30 VK's were confirmed dead.
Needless to say, my father was put in for a commendation. But because he 
wasn't a brownnoser, he didnt get it.

Sent by Bradley

2. 




The Chinese-born cellist Yo-Yo Ma 
changed his name from Yo Ma-Ma after he 
found that many Americans took offense 
when he introduced himself.

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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