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Today's jokes [2.7.11]

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How does Herpes leave the hospital?

On crotches.

1. 




I went out with my girlfriend and asked her,
"Why is it everytime I go out with you, I end up
spending hundreds of dollars?"

"Because I'm a prostitute." 

2. 




Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.
As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton,
"Are you ready to order?"
Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!?" the waitress replies.  "Sir, given the current
situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea.
I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu."
She walks away.
Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."

Sent by Gail

3. 




What did the mongoloid say to his dog?

Downsyndrome!!

4. 




A man had a flat tire on a very cold winter day. He told his girl
friend he'd have it fixed in no time. 
However as it was very cold his hands kept getting cold. He asked
his girl if he could put his hands between her knees to warm them. 

She said that would be allright. After getting his hands warm he
went back to fixing the tire but it was so cold he could not
continue so he again asked his girl if he could warm his hands.

She again said it would be allright. When his hands were warm he
went back to fixing the tire once more. But before he been out
there five minutes or so he again asked her if he could warm his
hands.

His girl asked "Honey don't your ears ever get cold?" 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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