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Today's jokes [2.20.11]

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Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute?

It opens on impact.

1. 




We've been married a little over four years, and we just celebrated our "Wooden Anniversary."
Yeah, I asked my wife to blow me, and she wouldn't.

2. 




An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of 
Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and 
offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the 
horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few 
minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from 
the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the 
local service station, yelled one final, "Yahoo!" and rode off. "What did 
you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service station
attendant. "Nothing," shrugged the woman, "I merely sat behind him on the 
horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I 
wouldn't fall off." "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians ride bareback..."

3. 




How can you tell if a blonde is a redneck?

If she can chew tobacco and suck dick at the
same time and still know which one to spit out.

4. 




A visiting conventioneer from Saskatchewan walked into a bar in Greenwich 
Village and sat next to a rather attractive woman.
"Hi," he said, "I'm new in town. Can I buy you a drink?"
"Get lost," she remarked, "I am Lesbian."
"Oh, really?" he asked, "How are things in Beiruit?"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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