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Today's jokes [2.19.11]

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Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it 
out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet 
above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below.
He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters 
look up and they both fire their double barrel shotguns at him.
When the hang glider was out of sight one of the hunters turns to the 
other and says "What kinda bird you reckon that was?"
The other hunter replies "I don't rightly know, but I think we hit it.
"How's that?"
"You saw how fast he dropped that man he was caring, didn't ya?





1. 




Ralph and Charlie where playing the ninth hole at the local country club 
when Ralph hit his tee shot way to the right. Ralph walked over to the 
deep rough, found his ball, and proceeded to beat the hell out of wild 
buttercups with his pitching wedge. Mother Nature appeared and said, 
"Since you destroyed all of my favorite buttercups, if you ever taste 
butter, smell butter, or even think about butter you will become deathly 
ill and die."
Ralph walked out of the rough toward Charlie with a big smile on his face. 
Ralph then told him his story with a big grin on his face. Charlie says, 
"That's not a good thing! Why are you smiling?" Ralph replies, "I almost 
hit the pussy willows."

2. 




What do you call a blonde that just came out of the closet?

The Hide and Seek champion of 1992.

3. 




A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to Little Johnny . So she 
said , "If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you 
reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"
"Somebody else's pants." said the Little Johnny.

4. 




A woman and her lover are on the bed in the woman's home, when
all of a sudden, they hear the front door open and close.
"Oh, no, it's my husband!"
The man says, "Where's your back door?"
"We don't have a back door" says the woman.
The man then asks, "Well, where do you want a back door?"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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