Today's jokes [2.17.11]
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What do you do when an elephant comes through the window?
Swim for it...
SAT score decay
As we all know SAT scores have been on the decline for years.
The following may be the reason why.
A math problem in the 60's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four-fifths of this
price. What is his profit?
A math problem in the 70's
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of porduction is four-fifths of this
price, or $80. What is his profit?
A math problem in the 70's using New Math
A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100,
and each element is worth $1. Make 100 dots representing the elements of set M. The set C of
the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set M, and answer the following question:
What is the cardinality of the set P of profits?
A math problem in the 80's
A logger sells a truckload of wood for $100. His cost of production is $80, and his profit is
$20. Your assignment: underline the number 20.
A math problem in the 90's under Outcome Based Education.
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of
living? (Topic for class participation: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?)
The Y-Zero-K Problem
Translated from a recently discovered Latin scroll dated 2BC
Are you still working on the Y zero K problem? This change
from BC to AD is giving us many headaches; there is not much
time left. I don't know how citizens will cope with working the
wrong way around. Having been working happily downwards
forever, now we have to start thinking upwards. You would think
that someone would have thought of this earlier and not left it to
us to sort it out at the last minute.
I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius
hadn't done something about it when he was working out the
calendar. He said he could see why Brutus turned nasty. We
called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing
downwards using minus BC won't work and as usual charged a
fortune for doing nothing useful. Surely, we will not have to
throw out all our hardware and start again? Macrohard will
make yet another fortune out of this, I suppose.
The money lenders are paranoid of course! They have been
told that all usury rates will invert, and they will have to pay
their clients to take out loans. It is an ill wind... .
As for myself, I just cannot see how the sand in an hourglass
will flow upwards. We have heard that there are three wise men
in the East who have been working on the problem, but
unfortunately they won't arrive until it's all over.
I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at
midnight at the turn of the year as there are fears that they will
stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to
chariots and possible loss of life. Some say the world will
cease to exist at the moment of transition.
Anyway, we are still continuing to work on this acursed Y zero
K problem. I will send you a parchment if anything further
If you have any ideas please let me know,
Sent by Marina
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent.
I recently had surgery on my hand, and asked the doctor if,
after surgery, I would be able to play the banjo.
He said, "I'm doing surgery on your hand, not giving you a lobotomy."
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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