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Today's jokes [2.16.11]

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What did cinderella do when she got to the ball???

She choked...

1. 




Q: Why don't women fart?
A: They don't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up pressure!


2. 




    A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit
   hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the
   rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and
   was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover,
   pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had
   become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The
   driver felt so awful, he began to cry. A woman driving down the
   highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over.
   She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel
   terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed
   it." The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She
   went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to
   the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the
   rabbit. Miraculously the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw
   at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 yards away the rabbit
   stopped, turned around, waved and hopped down the road, another 50
   yards, turned, waved and hopped another 50 yards. The man was
   astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in the
   woman's spray can!! He ran over to the woman and asked, "What is in
   your spray can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turned
   the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair
   spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave."


3. 




Why did Cleopatra take milk baths?

             She couldn't find a cow tall enough for a shower. 

4. 




Mr.Richman has 3daughters. Their names are nobody, somebody and crazy.
One day nobody and somebody are fighting over a fake eyebrow. Then crazy
when to the policeman and she said"Nobody and Somebody are fighting" Then
the policeman look at her then he said "What are you
talking about?" Then she said again "Nobody and Somebody are fighting"
Then the policeman said "What? Are you crazy?" Then she said "Yes but how
did you know my name?"



5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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