Today's stories [12.25.11]
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A lady walks in a computer store one day with a box of 5 1/2 inch disks,
says "I bought these disks and they seem to be defective."
"So", says the salesman, "what type of computer do you have?"
"An Apple," says she.
So fine, he says, and takes her over to a IIe...
"Oh, not this one," she said, "I own one of those!" And points to a Mac.
(at this point the salesman, as you do, saw where this was going, and
refused to believe it.)
"Well," says the salesman "these are 5 1/2 inch disks, they won't won't
fit in one of those..."
"Oh, I made them fit." Says the woman.
Needless to say, she had taken a pair of scissors...
Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging
by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness
to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized
the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms
laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the
backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart
attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the
definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel:
"an intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under
the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an
adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a
"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury
candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in
bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I
could have shot him."
She wasn't selected for the jury.
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