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Today's jokes [12.6.11]

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Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well
during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give
him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed. The principal
agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the
oral test.

First the teacher asks, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I
only have two of?"

Johnny replies, "Legs."

So the teacher asks, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I
don't have in my pants?"

"Pockets," Johnny replies.

Finally the teacher asks, "And Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?"

"Rome," is his answer.

With that the teacher turns to the principal and asks,
"Well, shall we pass him?"

"Better not ask me," the principal says, "I got the first two wrong!" 

1. 




An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh
Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden.
The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For
Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the
GUNS!!!
At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up
the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to
his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His
son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

2. 




The 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' franchise has a new Bucket
of Chicken out. It's called the 'Hillary Clinton Bucket.'
It contains two small breasts and two large thighs.

3. 




A man walks into a doctor's office with a frog stuck to his head.
Doctor: How did this happen?
Frog: It started with a bump on my ass.

4. 




A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. 
"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are
complaining that they can never reach me." 
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?" 
Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did
the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." 
Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?" 
Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet." 
Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?" 
Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving
around, my zip code keeps changing."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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