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Today's jokes [12.30.11]

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This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a
sign "Hans Olaffsen's Laundry."  "Hans Olaffsen?", he thinks. "How in
the world does that fit in here?"

So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting
in the corner.  The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place
get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?"

The old man answers "Is name of owner."

The visitor asks "Well, who is the owner?"

"I am he," answers the old man.

"You?  How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"

The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, I
was standing in line at Documentation Center.  Man in front of me
was big blonde Swede.  Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He
say, " Hans Olaffsen."  She look at me say, "What your name?"  I say,
"Sam Ting."

1. 




Q: What is hard, 6 inches long and fun to play with in bed?
A: A Gameboy!


2. 




First man: How'd you get that black eye?
Second man: I called some woman a two-bit whore.
First man: She punched you?
Second man: Nope. She hit me with her bag of quarters.

3. 




Two goldfish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says  "Do you 
know how to drive this thing?"

4. 




Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated." 
        Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or
what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation." 
        Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a little
embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here.
Will you do it?" 
        Doc says, "Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I 
don't understand it, but OK." 
        He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the
bedside when Fred wakes up.
        "Well, Doc, how'd it go?" Fred asks. 
        "It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an
operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple 
task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was 
operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went
ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be
circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my..." 
        "CIRCUMCISED!" yells Fred. "THAT'S the word!!!"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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