Today's jokes [12.3.11]
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What do you call a truckload of vibrators?
-Toys for Twats.
There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they
got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea
way use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swim
to a nearby island. After being there a few days the brunette
tries to swim to shore. She gets about five miles off the
island's shore and drowns. After a few days pass the redhead decides
that she will try. She gets about have way and drowns. Now
realizing all her friends are gone she decides to try too. Now she
swims for hours. She gets to where she can see the shore but she
is so tired she decieds to turn around and go back.
Sent by Evan
The young widow was kneeling at her husband's grave tending to the
weeds, when she felt the grass rustle beneath her skirt. She smiled
and said "Easy sweetheart, you're dead now ya know."
Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
the car was on the way down. It was.
From one of Tom Clancy's books:
Commanding officer: "Alright! How about an attitude check???"
Crew (In Unison): "I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE!"
CO: "Now, let's be more positive..."
Crew: "I POSITIVELY HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE!"
CO: "OK, How about a negative attitde check..."
Crew: "I DON'T LIKE THIS FUCKING PLACE!"
CO: "OK, How about a short attitude check ..?"
Crew: "FUCK THIS PLACE!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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