Today's jokes [12.27.11]
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A furrier from the US goes to Helsinki to buy furs.
He arranges for a hooker to be sent to his room.
When they're done, he said, "I'm afraid my
Finnish isn't too good."
The hooker replied, "Your foreplay ain't all
that hot either."
The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted
by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service
from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called
the electric company's complaint department to ask for help.
"The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our
community. You must make them stop cursing so much.", said
"Very well, sister. But you must make allowances for their
habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still
tend to call a spade a spade.", said the company
Mother superior then observed, "I think the term they actually
use is 'fucking shovel'".
It was their first date, and she'd shown the patience of a saint
as he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his
driving techniques, and even the standards he used to choose
Finally, he came up for air and said, "But enough about me.
Let's talk about you."
She breathed a sigh of relief.
He went on, "What do you think about me?"
Most dentists chairs go up and down, don't they?
The one I was in went back and forwards.
I thought, "This is unusual."
The dentist said to me, "Mr. Owens, get out of the filing cabinet."
Have you heard about the new Mechanical Whore?
-She gives a licking and keeps on ticking.
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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