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Today's jokes [12.26.11]

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A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time
and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen
lesson & music books.

Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me look
at you... let me hold you ! Let's have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much !"

The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover. First, let's hear you play that harmonica." 


1. 




Q: How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat? 

A: If you sit down before the other guy gets off.

2. 




What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? 

     The taste. 

3. 




   Did any of you other married guys out there ever wonder whether it's
   better to have loved and lost, than to have loved and won ?


4. 




The old man was saying to his doctor,
"You know, Doc, when I was young, it was as hard as a rock. As I got a 
little older, I could bend it a little and now I can bend it alot. Does 
that mean I'm getting stronger?"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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