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Today's jokes [12.24.11]

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The subway car was packed.  It was rush hour, and many people were
forced to stand.  One particularly cramped woman turned to the man
behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing,
I'm going to the cops!"
"I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check
in my pocket."
"Oh really" she spat."then you must have some job,
because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour."



1. 




Q: What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
A: Nigers.


2. 




What is the difference between a hockey game
                           and a High School reunion? 

At a hockey game you see fast pucks. 

3. 




     How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? 

     Seven...one to mix the batter and six to peel the M&Ms. 

4. 




A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager,"Got
any fresh fruit?"
"No."
"Got any fresh vegetables?"
"No. We have only canned and dry goods."

The next day, the duck returns.
"Got any fresh fruit?"
"No."
"Got any fresh vegetables?"
"No. I told you yesterday, we have only canned and dry 
goods. If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same 
question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor."

On the 3rd day, the duck walks in and asks,"Got any nails?"
"No."
"Got any fresh fruit?"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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