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Today's jokes [12.2.11]

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"Would you sleep with me for ten thousand dollars?" asked John
"Yes, I will." Paula replied.
"Would you do it for one thousand?" he asked.
"Well maybe, or maybe I'd do something else for you."
she answered with a wink.
"How about a blowjob for $20?" responded John.
"Hey! What kind of women do you think I am?" Paula snapped, indignantly. 
"That's already been established, Paula. Now we're just haggling over the 
price!"

1. 




Whats the definition of a perfect woman ?
          a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head 
so that you can put a pint of beer on it.
          b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.
          c) The economy model fucks all night and at midnight turn into a 
roastbeef sandwich and a sixpack.

2. 




What does pizza delivery man and
a gynaecologist have in common?

Both can smell it but can't eat it



3. 




A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few 
drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed.
They're having a great time. She was on top when suddenly 
she had an epileptic seizure -- she was shaking and foaming at 
the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was incredible -- 
best sex he'd ever had.
He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with 
her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the 
emergency room.
A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, "I think 
her orgasm's stuck!" 

4. 




John: "I'm glad you named me John."
Mother: "Why?"
John: "Because that's what all the kids at school call
me."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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