Today's Jokes  |  Archives  |  Lists  |  Random  |  Register  |  RandJoke on Your Page  
 


Today's jokes [12.19.11]

Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to joke categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your joke reading.


There was a young man in the Air Force who was so well- 
endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three Air Force 
doctors and one Air Force nurse were in the operating room to 
remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We'll just take a 
big hunk off the end." They discussed it and decided that 
would affect his sensitivity.

The second doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk out of the 
middle of it." They discussed this, and decided it would change 
the texture and feel of it.

The third doctor said, "We'll just take a big hunk off the base of 
it." They discussed this, too, and agreed that it might give him 
erection problems.

The doctors heard a sniffling, and looked over at the nurse who 
had tears running down her cheeks. The nurse cried, "Can't we 
just make his legs longer?" 

1. 




One day there were these three boys walking down 
the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP! HELP!'
 When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill 
Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved 
him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first 
boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said, 
'I want a boat.'
The second boy said 'I want a truck.' 
And the third boy said, 'I want three tombstones with are
names all on them.'  Bill Clinton said, 'why is that son?' 
The little boy said, 'because when my Dad finds out that we
saved you, he is going to kill us all!'

2. 




A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his
cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No
sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he
said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and
flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said,
handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway."

"Now," she said, "if only I could find my parakeet. "

3. 




There was a guy sitting at a bar having a beer.
Up walks a so called "lady of the night". She
says, "For $300.00, I'll do anything you want."
Our fine lad thinks for a moment then says:

Ok. Paint my house, bitch! 

4. 




Q: How do you get rid of a nun's hiccups?
A: Tell her she's pregnant!


5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
If you don't like it, just hit RELOAD




Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



By voting you are helping select today's best joke. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best jokes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read

Today's Stories
Today's Poems
Today's Quotes
Today's Funny Pic

 December '11 Jokes Issues:
S  M  T  W  Th F  St
            1  2  3  
4  5  6  7  8  9  10 
11 12 13 14 15 16 17 
18 19 20 21 22 23 24 
25 26 27 28 29 30 31 

Jump to  



For any questions or comments email us at info@jokes2go.com
Copyright© SpekGY, Inc, 1998-2016. All rights reserved.