Today's jokes [12.17.11]
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A man takes his dog for a walk in the park. While he's there, he runs in
to his old friend. The two men stop to talk and the dog just plops right
down and starts licking his balls. The friend sees this and says, "Man, I
sure wish I could do that." The dog owner says, "Go ahead, but pet him a
little bit first."
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a
relaxing dinner with his wife, they retire to bed. So, both go to
their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber.
The man calls over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On
the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face.
The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little
honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate
sex and afterwards the woman rolls out. As she returns to her bed, she
once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and
says, "clumsy bitch".
Whats black and white and red all over?
A nun in a car accident.
Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One
notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders.
He says "When did you start wearing them?" To which the other man
replies "Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car."
What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness and an atheist?
Someone who knocks on your door for no reason whatsoever.
If God is dead, then what are they giving out at communion?
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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