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Today's jokes [12.11.11]

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Oprectomy



                        KENMORE HOSPITAL
                      61 COMMONWEALTH AVE.
                        BOSTON, MA. 02115



                                                DATE:____________

NAME:

ADDRESS:



Please be advised that your Oprectomy operation is scheduled for

_______________, at ___________(a.m.)(p.m.). The purpose of this

extremely delicate operation is to sever the cord that connects

your eyes to your rectum and hopefully get rid of your shitty

outlook on life.

                                        Sincerely,


                                        J. Grabber, M.D.
                                        Kenmore Hospital



1. 




What do Arabs do on saturday night?

They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.

2. 




These two sperm were swimmin' around, doin' their thing and one sperm
   asks the
   other...Hey, are we almost there??? Is this the fallopian tube???
   Sperm #2 says "Naaaa
   this is still the esophagus".
   


3. 




If Timex made toasters...
They would be cheap and small quartz-crystal wrist toasters
that take a licking and keep on toasting.

4. 




What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?

Wayne takes a shower after 3 periods.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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