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Today's jokes [12.1.11]

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Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM 
HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, "Damn...3 
.2 meters!"
The second one looks furtively around and says, "No police, anywhere. We 
can go!"

1. 




The bartender asks him "What'll you have?". The guy answers, 
"A scotch, please". The bartender hands him the drink, and 
says "That'll be five dollars", to which he replies "What are 
you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this".

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, 
then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In 
the original offer, which consitutes a binding contract upon 
acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration". The 
bartender's not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you 
beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here 
again".

The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, 
"What the hell are you doing in here? I can't believe you've 
got the audacity to come back!". 

The guy says "What are you talking about? I've never been in 
this place in my life", to which the bartender replies "I'm 
very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double."

To which the guy replies "Thank you! Make it a scotch."



2. 




What do the Pope and the Giants have in common?

Both cram 30,000 fans in a stadium and end up saying JESUS CHRIST!!

3. 




What's the best thing about a blow job? 

- The 15 minutes of silence! 

4. 




A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was felling every time a 
bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and 
sees that  indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. 
"OK, I am gonna see what is going on,  just close the door behind me" and 
he stepps into the closet. At  that time the husband comes from work, 
opens the closet and finds the repairman. 
Husband:  "What the hell are you doing here!"
Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a 
bus!"

Sent by Ser

5. 



BONUS! A random joke from Jokes2Go database
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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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