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Today's stories [11.24.11]

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I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic.
Driving to work this morning on I-95 I look over
to my left and there's this woman in a Mustang doing
65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear
view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I look away for
a couple seconds and when I look back she's halfway
over in my lane. Scared me so bad I dropped my
electric shaver in my coffee." 

1. 




A driver, who crashed into the side of a 3000 ton wheat train and
was dragged in his car more than a kilometre before being slammed
into a pylon at the edge of a cliff, fell to his death as he
walked for help. 

2. 




On February 3, 1990, a Renton (Seattle area) man tried to commit
a robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by
his lack of a record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid
choice:

   1.The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gunshop; 

   2.The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial
     fraction of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed
     handguns in public places; 

   3.To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked King County
     Police patrol car parked at the front door; 

   4.An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having
     coffee before reporting to duty. 

Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and
fired a few wild shots. 
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the
gene pool. 
Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire.
No one else was hurt. 

3. 



BONUS! A random story from Jokes2Go database
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This guy was playing a game of texas holdem poker and had already lost 300 dollars when suddenly he looked down, and just next to the table he sees a little green leprechaun.
"Jus quit playing poker right now and I will give you a million dollars worth in a pot full of gold said the little green gentlemen.
The player replied, sure "just Let me get even first."


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