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Today's poems [11.3.11]

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A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus. 

1. 




A morbid young lady named Jean 
               Was known as the Masochist Queen. 
                    She used thistles and cacti 
                    In pursuit of her practi, 
               In a manner both odd and obscene. 

2. 




For sculpture that's really first class 
               You need form, composition, and mass. 
                    To do a good Venus 
                    Just leave off the penis, 
               And concentrate all on the ass. 

3. 




                    There was a young fellow named Louvies
                            
                    Who tickled his girl in the boovies,
                            And as she contorted,
                            He looked down and snorted,
                            
                    "My prick wants to get in your movies!"
                            
                                              


4. 




                    A Chinaman hailing from Woozee
                            
                    Once laid an American floozie.
                            "How different," he cried,
                            As he slid it inside,
                            
                    "To diddle a vertical coozie!"
                            
                                              


5. 



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