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Today's jokes [11.26.11]

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I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar the other night and 
said, "Hey, babe, can I buy you a drink?"

She said, "Do you like sex?"

I said, "Of course I like sex."

She said, "Do you like to travel?"

I said, "Yeah, I love to travel."

She said, "Then fuck off."

1. 




There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was exceedingly bent
He put it in double
To save himself trouble
Instead of coming he wen

2. 




What do you do when an elephant comes through the window?
Swim for it...


3. 




Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. 

    Wedding cake! 

4. 




Q: What's the differenc between a blond and a mosquito?

A: A mosquito stops sucking once you whack it.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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