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Today's jokes [11.24.11]

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Do you know what a Yankee is?

Same as a quickie, except you're by yourself 



1. 




What is the first symptom of AIDs?

A hard, deep, pounding sensation in your ass. 

2. 




The Yuppie showered a Yuppette with gifts for over a month. He 
took her to fancy restaurants and expensive resorts. Finally, he 
proposed, "Bernie, if you will marry me, I have enough money 
to provide you with anything your little heart desires."

"Sorry John." she replied. "I'm not ready to settle down yet. 
And besides, you can't buy my love, but if the price is right, I 
might see my way clear to rent you some."

3. 




Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what portion of the
weekly collection they kept for themselves. The first priest
explained that he drew a circle on the ground, stepped a few
paces back and pitched the money towards the circle. What
landed in the circle he kept and what landed outside the
circle god kept.
The second priest claimed that his method was almost the same,
except that what landed outside the circle went to the priest
and the money that landed inside the circle god kept.
The rabbi said, "I've got you both beat. I throw the money
into the air and what god wants, god takes." 

4. 




Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four 
hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland -- "Left",  so they 
turned around and went home.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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