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Today's jokes [11.19.11]

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The following is an ad from a real-life newspaper which
   appeared four days in a row - the last three hopelessly trying to
   correct the first day's mistake.
   MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone
   948-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.
   TUESDAY Notice: We regret having erred In R.D. Jones' ad yesterday. It
   should have read "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 948-0707
   and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M."
   WEDNESDAY Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received
   several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the
   classified ad yesterday. The ad stands corrected as follows: "For sale
   R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 948-0707
   after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him."
   THURSDAY Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I
   smashed it. Don't call 948-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected.
   I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was
   my housekeeper but she quit!


1. 




How to hunt elephants -- Lawyer's style

Lawyers don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds
around arguing about who owns the droppings.  Software
lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the
look and feel of one dropping.

Sent by Alex

2. 




A blonde calls the fire department cause her house was on fire. They ask 
her how to get there and she says "Duh, big red truck?!."

3. 




Q: What's the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.


4. 




Whats the difference between pink and purple?


                     Your grip.

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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