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Today's quotes [10.24.11]

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A great way to lose weight is to eat naked in front of a
mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before
you can eat too much.

1. 




Calkin's Law of Menu Language
The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a
menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish.


2. 





Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: I would not live forever, because we should
not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then
we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I
would not live forever.
 -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest 
 

3. 




"NOTE TO SELF:  When CGI women start turning you on, it's time to leave
 the house."

-- Jaffo


4. 




He is so polite, he wouldn't open an oyster without
knocking on the shell first.

5. 



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