Today's jokes [10.8.11]
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Ed, Ted and their wives went out camping one weekend. Ed and Ted slept in
one tent while the wives used the other.
At about three in the morning, Ted woke up and yelled, "Wow,
Which woke Ed.
"What's going on?" said Ed.
"I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife." said Ted.
"How come?" said Ed.
"To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my
life!" said Ted
After a pause, Ed said, "Do you want me to come with you?"
"Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?" said Ted.
"Because that's my dick you're holding," said Ed.
Radar: "Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
Pilot: "Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet, how much noise can
we make up here?"
Radar: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 727 makes when it
hits a 747?"
What two things in the air will get a women pregnant?
Q: Mom! Can I lick the bowl? Please!
A: Shut up and flush!
A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named "Clint", and
bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to
Clint, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a
day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first
Clint says, "I want to see my horse." The Indians get his horse. Clint
grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on
the ass. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back
with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee
The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man - can
only think of one thing." The second day, the chief says, "What your
Clint says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his
horse. Clint leans over to the horse and whispers something in the
horse's ear, then slaps it on the ass. Two hours later, the horse
comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee
with the Clint. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical
white man - going to die tomorrow and can only think of one thing."
The last day comes, and the chief says, "This your last wish, white
man. What you want?" Clint says, "I want to see my horse again." The
Indians bring him his horse.
Clint grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read
my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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