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Today's jokes [10.7.11]

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Q: Mommy, Mommy! Can I play with grandma?
A: Not today, we already dug her three times this week.


1. 




   A Canadian, a Scotsman, and an Australian are in a bar discussing the
   mental abilities of
   their wives. The Canadian says, "You know my wife must be the most
   stupid woman in
   the world. She went to a supermarket sale and bought $900 worth of
   meat, and we don't
   even have a freezer! The Scotsman says, "That's nothing! My wife went
   out last week
   and bought a brand new $30,000 car, and she can't even drive! Not to
   be out done, the
   Aussie says, "My wife is a lot dumber than that! Last week she left
   for a two week holiday
   in Paris and I saw her pack 20 condoms! Hell, she doesn't even have a
   penis!"
   


2. 




Q. Why does Mary Lou Retton smile so much?

A. Because she found out what the big boys eat. 

3. 




What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching like hell to get out of that box. 

4. 




A man calls his family doctor:

man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit.

doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help.

man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her. 

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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