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Today's jokes [10.5.11]

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What kind of clothes are there?
women: clean & dirty
Men: Clean,almost clean,sorta clean,not bad,dirty,really dirty,nasty ,
biohazzard.(Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of
these clothes).

1. 




Q:  Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?

A:  They both have, "incert Bill"!


2. 




Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A: They taste funny!!


3. 




A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken
to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your 
secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" 
Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey,
my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you
wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very
efficient." 

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed
her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."

4. 




These two guys are car pooling home from work one day. Traffic is
barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored. So the driver is
looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex on
someone's front lawn.

"Look", he shouts "What are the those dogs doing? are they fighting?"
The passenger, being a man of the world, replies "They are having sex.
Don't tell me that you have never had sex doggie style before?"

The driver, a bit embarrassed, admits that he has never had sex
doggie style. So the passenger says, "You have to try it. Its pretty
cool. Here's what you do. Tonight when you get home, fix your wife
a margarita and then suggest that you want to try this new sexual
position."

The driver thinks a bit and then decides he will give it a
try. The next morning, the two commuters are back in the car and the
passenger asks, "Well, how did it go?" To which the driver replies, "It was
great.
But it took me 6 Margaritas just to get her on the front lawn."

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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