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Today's jokes [10.25.11]

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Hear about the guy who played a blank tape at full blast.
The mime next door went nuts.

1. 




This businessman was walking down the sidewalk when a jet black van 
stopped by him. The guys pulled the man inside, stripped him of all his 
clothes till he was butt naked, threw him back outside, and then slammed 
the door shut taking off.
Five miles later the men look outside and see the businessman running 
right beside the van. The thought "oh well". So they drove on for another 
five miles, and once again they saw the businessman running beside their
van. So this time they pulled over, opened the door, and asked the man, 
"Hey, how can you run so fast?" He replied, "You would to if your dick was 
stuck in the door.

2. 




   YOU KNOW WHEN THE POST OFFICE IS HIRING WHEN THE FLAG OUT
   FRONT IS AT HALF MAST.
   THE POSTAL WORKERS WANT HAZZARD PAY AND WORKERS COMP FOR SLIPPING ON
   SHELL CASINGS


3. 




A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the 
radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The 
state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an 
empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you 
been drinking?"

And the minister says, "Just water."

The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good 
Lord, He's done it again!"

4. 




Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache.

"I've got a beaut cure for a headache," said his mate Trev. "Whenever I 
have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet 
blowjob. Never fails."

A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. "Did you try my 
headache cure," asked Trev. "Yeah said Phil, worked great! Your house is 
nice, too!"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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