Today's jokes [10.23.11]
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Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo?
They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint.
A nosey neighbour remonstrated with the woman in the adjoining apartment.
"Mrs Smith, do you think it is right that a seventeen year old boy spends
three hours every night in your apartment?"
Mrs Smith replied. "Its a platonic friendship. Its play for him and a
tonic for me."
A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend.
The girlfriend asked, "Do you talk to your husband when you're making
She thought about it a minute then said, "Well, no. But I could. I
mean he has a cell phone and all now."
A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave.
Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. "Get me out of here", said the
one in the grave, "I'm cold". The other one looked over the edge and said,
"No wonder you're cold, you poor guy. You don't have any dirt on you".
The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the
reception committee, and
after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad
He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of
the Holy Scriptures, and
spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a
linguistic master, he
sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the
Bible, working back
from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.
All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come
running to him, only to
find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering,
"An 'R'! They left out
God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem
is. After collecting
his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R' ... the word was
supposed to be
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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