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Today's jokes [10.20.11]

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Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he
 sees a sign that says, "Cow For Sale...$5000."

 He pulls in and says to the farmer, "There's no cow in
 the world worth five thousand dollars."

 The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this."

 He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a
 snatch just like a woman.

 Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and says,
 "It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a
 snatch like a woman, and it's worth $5000, and here I
 am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you're not
 worth shit."

1. 




Definition:
Politics Poli (Poly): Many....   Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures 

2. 




Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked
   politician with a dishonest lawyer? 

A. Chelsea 


3. 




A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next
   to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he
   notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her
   about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual
   statistics. It identifies that American Indialns have the longest
   average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the
   way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto
   Kowalski, nice to meet you."


4. 




Old farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed.
With a low voice he sad to his wife,
"Maude, when I'm dead and gone... I want you to marry farmer Jones."
"Oh no, I couldn't marry anyone after you!" Maude replies.
"But I want you to, Maude."
"But why?" Maude asks.
"Because that no good son of a bitch once cheated me in a horse trade!"

5. 



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Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.

Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.



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