Today's jokes [10.20.11]
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Harry and his wife are driving in the country when he
sees a sign that says, "Cow For Sale...$5000."
He pulls in and says to the farmer, "There's no cow in
the world worth five thousand dollars."
The farmer says, Oh, yeah? Take a look at this."
He lifts the cow's tail, and Harry sees the cow has a
snatch just like a woman.
Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife, and says,
"It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow with a
snatch like a woman, and it's worth $5000, and here I
am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you're not
Politics Poli (Poly): Many.... Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures
Q. What do you get when you cross a crooked
politician with a dishonest lawyer?
A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next
to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he
notices that she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her
about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual
statistics. It identifies that American Indialns have the longest
average penis and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the
way my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto
Kowalski, nice to meet you."
Old farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed.
With a low voice he sad to his wife,
"Maude, when I'm dead and gone... I want you to marry farmer Jones."
"Oh no, I couldn't marry anyone after you!" Maude replies.
"But I want you to, Maude."
"But why?" Maude asks.
"Because that no good son of a bitch once cheated me in a horse trade!"
PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.
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