Today's stories [1.11.11]
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Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging
by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness
to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized
the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms
laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the
backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart
attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the
definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel:
"an intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under
the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an
adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a
"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded the jury
candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in
bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I
could have shot him."
She wasn't selected for the jury.
In Melbourne (Australia) one of the radio stations paid money, $100 to
$500, for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This morning's
one netted the proud owner $300.
As the lady said...I was due later that week for an appointment with the
gynecologist, when early one morning I received a call from his office
that I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30 a.m. I had only
just packed everyone off to work and school and it was around 8:45
already. The trip to his office usually took about thirty five minutes, so
I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do I'm sure, I like to take
a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time
I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs,
threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in
"that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure that I
was presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some
clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the
waiting room only a few minutes when he called me in. Knowing the
procedure, as I'm sure you all do, I hopped up on the table, looked over
at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other
place a million miles away from here. I was a little surprised when he
said, "My... we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't
we?", but I didn't respond. The appointment over, I heaved a sigh of
relief and went home. The rest of the day went as normal, some shopping,
cleaning, the evening meal, etc. At 8:30 that evening my 18 year old
daughter was fixing to go to a school dance, when she called down from the
bathroom, "Mom - where's my washcloth?" I called back for her to get
another from the cabinet. She called back, "No - I need the one that was
here by the sink - It had all my glitter and sparkles in it".
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