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Today's quotes [1.12.11]

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"There's more than one way to do it."

-- The Perl Slogan

"It's a good thing there's more than one way to do it because most of them
 don't work."

-- The Windows Perl Slogan


1. 




A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass.
   Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for sixteen hardened
   criminals.
         Ronnie Corbett


2. 




They think they can make fuel from horse manure... Now I don't know if
   your car will be able to get thirty miles to the gallon, but it's sure
   gonna put a stop to siphoning.
         Billie Holliday


3. 




Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and
   anyone going faster than you is a moron.
         George Carlin


4. 




You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five
   miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where
   the hell she is.
         Ellen DeGeneris


5. 



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