Today's poems [1.5.11]
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There once was a well-groomed young nance
Who responded to every advance,
But rather than strip
He let anything slip
Through a hole in the seat of his pants.
A young man from the banks of the Po
Found his cock had elongated so,
That when he'd pee
It was not he
But even his neighbors who'd know.
Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was slightly grey.
It didn't have a father,
Just some borrowed DNA.
It sort of had a mother,
Though the ovum was on loan.
It was not so much a lambkin
As a little lamby clone.
And soon it had a fellow clone,
And soon it had some more.
It made the children laugh and sing,
The teachers found it droll;
There were too many lamby clones
For Mary to control.
No other could control the sheep
Since their programs didn't vary,
So the scientists resolved it all
By simply cloning Mary.
But now they feel quite sheepish,
Those scientists unwary.
One problem solved, but what to do
With Mary, Mary, Mary?
An explorer whose habits were blunt
Once flavored some cannibal cunt.
The asshole was shitty,
And---more was the pity---
It oozed from the rear to the front.
There once were two brothers named Luntz
Who buggered each other at once.
When asked to account
For this intricate mount,
They said, "Assholes are tighter than cunts."
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