Today's poems [1.23.11]
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My wife Myrtle's womb has a habit
Of expanding whenever I stab it.
What's more, my wife Myrtle
Is so wonderously fertile,
That she's giving me kids like a rabbit.
There was a young man from Hong Kong
Who had a trifurcated prong:
A small one for sucking,
A large one for fucking,
And a honey for beating a gong.
As His Holiness signed my petition
He said,"I take this position:
Here shines a clean mind,
For nowhere can I find
A single lubricious omission!"
If you're speaking of actions immoral
Then how about giving the laurel
To doughty Queen Esther,
No three men could best her---
One fore, one aft, and one oral.
The Rajah of Afghanistan
Imported a Birmingham can,
Which he set as a throne
On a great Buddha stone---
But he crapped out-of-doors like a man.
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