Today's poems [1.1.11]
Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
Owed to the Spelling Checker
I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule
The checker pour o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Be fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if were lacks or have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of non eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft ware four pea seas.
And why I brake in two averse
By righting want too pleas.
There was a young lady named Alice,
Who used dynamite for a phallus.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And part of her asshole in Dallas.
There once was a man from Leeds
Who swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of grass
Sprouted out of his ass
and his balls were covered in weeds!
I hate you, you hate me,
We're a disfunctional family.
Then a shot rang out and Barney hit the floor,
No more fucking dinosaur.
You've heard the tale of Robin Hood,
And how he did poor people good,
There is more to this Famous story,
Of Sherwood Forest's Pride and Joy
At night when all robbing was done,
The merry men would have some fun,
In fact it would be fair to say,
The Merry men were rather gay.
As Little John starts to unwind,
Robin takes his from behind,
As they frolic in the grass,
Robin rams it up his arse.
One night when they were all at play,
A gorgeous maiden came their way,
She saunter up to Friar Tuck,
And Said "I'm Marion, wanna Fuck?"
Friar couldn't believe his ears,
She is offering sex to all us queers."
While he recovered from his shock,
Robin presented her with his cock.
Marion's clothes were off in a flash,
The 3 merry men all had a bash.
For Marion this was sheer bliss.
As they filled her with ever orifice,
When all was done she gave wine,
"Thank You boys for the lovely time,
"But for your pleasure you must pay,
"I've got the pox, have a nice day."
"Now listen here, "said Friar Tuck.
"We don't really give a fuck,
"The laughs on you, you silly cow,
"We've got AIDS, so who's fucked now."
By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29